empty words of comfort?

i need something else. there is very little other than an empty ringing sound in there. the committee of assholes has been in recess for a little while and i think i need them back. i don’t enjoy feeling some of my feelings. i have some fear, some discouragement, some sorrow, some doubt, some sadness… yes, sadness. i feel sad and a little worried.

something that was supposed to be rock solid (ha, even saying that sounds ridiculous now) has fallen through like a bomb through the bottom of a plane, and landed on my plans, smashing them to bits and pieces. here is where my faith is supposed to come in and save me from my feelings. i know that is not faith’s job, but that is what i often delegate to faith. here, take these feelings away please.

nobody ever said it would be assured or guaranteed. heck, i even say that there are no guarantees, feeling slightly self-righteous as i say it! and now, without cell phone communication with my loved one available to me, all i’m left with is my own words of comfort and spiritual advice, putting that famous positive spin on things as i tend to do – only now, they ring as hollow and empty and void of hope.

i know this too shall pass. i know everything is for the best. i know this deep in the foundations of my heart and soul. i believe it. but that doesn’t make the feelings go away. they are human, after all, and so am i.

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