jesus i’d really like to get over this – or through it

today i am in a mood. i am in a state. yesterday i was too. that one was “frustrated beyond all fucking belief for no good reason”. sure my vehicle got stuck in the snow on the middle of a rural road with several dogs in it, in -30 something degree weather. but seriously, my attitude was real stanky yesterday. just deplorable.

now the most active dog – the most needing to go outside of the boundaries of the yard dog – is whining and pacing like he needs something. so in said -30 something degree weather, i will dress up and go outside. and i am in a depressed mood or something so maybe this will help. i am “discouraged” today. so yesterday was “frustrated” because i had plans and couldn’t follow through due to a day out on winter roads, and today i am “discouraged” because i am home and available to do those plans and yet i can’t get my head in the game. i am sitting here, picking out my eyebrows and glued to the internet and freezing cold. and feeling sick to my stomach because i “should” know better. and my spouse and i had a fight this morning. that always sets me back. waaaaaay back. like rocket ship style. not healthy. god damn it.

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